13 reasons why I’ve got to do this

May 16, 2009

you know what i want?

  1. to not feel my thighs rubbing together when i wear a dress without tights
  2. my hipbones (which i’m beginnning to see!) to be more defined
  3. my size 2 bullhead jeans, which i bought to be loose, to be looser
  4. my boobs, which are approaching a b-cup, to get back down to an a
  5. to be able to wear a tank top on it’s own and not just as a layer under a bigger shirt
  6. to be confident
  7. to have girls envy me and guys think i’m hot
  8. to look in the mirror an be proud at what i accomplished
  9. to be able to pull off crazy outfits
  10. to get back into a 0 in jcrew shorts
  11. my short torso (seriously, there’s a little less than a foot between the bottom of my bra and the top of my waistband on my low rise jeans) to look less stubby
  12. to not fear spring (because layers begin coming off this time of the year)
  13. to be able to go shopping without feeling like i’m rewarding pudginess
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14 Responses to “13 reasons why I’ve got to do this”

  1. linnxie said

    I really do agree with your reasons to be thin. Except for the boob thing, I’m glad you know why you wanna to be thin.

  2. karnii said

    you know, i feel like it really helped me too– to write it down… to put those feelings into words. it feels good.

    šŸ™‚

  3. linnxie said

    I understand what you mean, think I’m going to some up the reasons why I want to lose weight to.

  4. quact said

    #7, which girls, and which guys?! Girls like yourself, but does that really appeal to guys?!

    • karnii said

      my weight is inversely related to my confidence; the more i weight, the less confident i am.

      and guys find confidence attractive, correct?

      that’s how i see it anyway…

    • linnxie said

      Karnii explained it to you in a beautiful way. And btw don’t boys like girls with a good figure? We girls like ourselves to have a good figure, like the girls who have one!! We even envie them for it or use them for inspiration. Eventually every ralitionship turns about the inner you but it starts with how you look.

      • karnii said

        thanks, linnixie! it’s so true… most guys wont bother to get to know a girl if they don’t like what they see at all. it just isn’t worth it to them.

  5. Bianca said

    wow, this is pretty delusional.

  6. Bianca said

    Maybe I should rephrase that.

    Your reasons are abstract. You can weigh 30 pounds and not really reach any of your goals. They are mostly dependent on your feelings and emotions. That is not a good way to set goals.

    Also, be honest. This isn’t about girls envying you or guys thinking your hot. There is nothing hot about hip bones. Unless you are trying to be some haute couture model or something. This is about control and your lack of self-esteem. You think that you will love yourself if you weigh less. That isn’t true. Your weight isn’t the source of your pain. It is just a scapegoat. I have been where you are now. But I decided that any boy who has a problem with a size 4 isn’t the kind of guy I want anyway. Think about the girls guys drool over: Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears, etc None of them are a size 0. Have you seen Kim Kardashian’s hips????

    You’ve already crossed the line between dieting and anorexia. Dieting doesn’t work anyway and neither does anorexia. I rather be a size 6 and live a normal, happy, unobsessie life than be a size 0 and have heart disease, hair loss, and be constantly obsessing about calories.

    It’s your life and your choice.

  7. quact said

    Actually, its not your choice. You’ve been given a strong healthy body and is it really down to you to choose to starve yourself?

    You cannot generalise and say ‘guys like xyz’, as every guy is different. Some guys like girls who are confident enough to walk around in public practically naked, and others like girls who are confident enough to simply not care about pleasing others but rather look after themself, and so on!

    Until this last century where women started wearing trousers etc, a curvy figure was THE standard of beauty for a women for thousands of years.

    The question is, do you want the elegant figure of a grown woman, or the figure of a small boy?

    • linnxie said

      Okay,if we forget about the girls envying and the boys thinking your hot. Still if someone doesn’t feel good in his own body, isn’t happy with who he/she is and can’t think of anything else than I’m too fat and other people around them kind of force that opnion on them as well. What is life worth living for. I want a happy life too you know, and if I don’t feel comfortable in my own body and have to see others look the way I want to look. Wouldn’t it be better for me to take the intiative into my own hands and start doing something about it? I don’t wanna die and untill now I’ve made sure that I’m healthy although I’m kind of obsessed with calories at the same time. Things have changed you know, you can be kind of ana and not go to deep into it. A fast doesn’t mean starving yourself a juice/water fast can be healthy for you it’s a detox programm although it’s the most extreem one. Therefore you’ve to make sure you stop after 5days.As long as you keep your BMI at a healthy stage I won’t say it’s hilarious. BTW they way you look and feel are connected and therefore her ideas about being thin aren’t delusional. And for Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears, if they feel good in their skin then let them be. And for Quack it’s the 21st century things have changed and beauty Icons have changed. And it’s your own choice. You can either starve that healthy body/eat to much and then kill it as well/try to keep it healthy. The last one is probably the most difficult but everyone who loves life will eventually try that one. I hope it’s just no too late for some. Some of us aren’t confident enough to say I don’t care what others think about me and if they aren’t then let them be. Saying they’re ideas are stupid or anything won’t really help. It’s better to try and find the best solution. By combinning yyour vieuw and they’re vieuw.

      • karnii said

        exactly! again linnxie, thank you. for somehow finding the words for what’s going around in my head.

        my standard of beauty right now is thin. not too thin– like, protruding-ribs thin– but thin. thighs that don’t touch, etc. until i get to that thin, i really dont think i can feel good about my appearence. i wish it weren’t that way, but ana runs in my family so it is that way. i’m simply a perfectionist, and i really doubt that i can change, sadly.

  8. Quact said

    Just wear a lovely skirt, and you’ll look far more beautiful, and you thigh’s touching won’t show.

    Just a warning, don’t rely on a BMI as it is the relation to height (1 dimension), with weight (volume/3 dimensions). Mathematically its stupidity as it gives a linear answer which isn’t all that accurate. For 9 out of 10 people, the BMI is fine, but for those who are smaller/lighter, and those with heavy muscle mass, it is totally inaccurate.

    Something that is slightly more accurate is to measure the relationship between your waist and your weight, but even that isn’t perfect.

    • karnii said

      unfortunately, skirts can’t hide my monster calves and cankles, but i do agree that they hide thighs pretty effectively (especially the new, high-waist flouncy ones).

      and i’m no longer either of those exceptions (i USED to be small) so bmi should work fine.

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