damn damn damn… what am i going to do?

July 17, 2009

we’re getting food from this REALLY awesome italian place (ordering in) and i’m nervous as hell! i’ve already had about 350 call today…. and i can’t get fat. i just CAN’T!

ok ok ok… i’m going to do what cassie does. cut cut cut… talk a lot. except i’ll HAVE to eat. so i’ll chew. a lot. like a friggin maniac. 9 bites? 27? idk…. chew chew chew.

and put my fork down in between bites. i’ve heard that helps. takes longer to eat that way.

oh, damn it! i already had everything planned out! i was gonna have a slice of pizza (300 cal) and it would be reasonable. and then maybe some of my kashi cereal as a snack. that’s the way it’s SUPPOSED to be. there isn’t SUPPOSED to be yummy italian food. there isn’t supposed to be some heavenly scent wafting through my kitchen and saying eat, karni, eaaat!!!

no no no. this is too much for me now! i feel like my binging impulses have been acting up a lot less lately (knock on wood) but i don’t know if they can hold up tonight. they better. because i’m only allowing myself 450 cal of this stuff. 450. that’s it; that’s final.

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