“because it’s funny”

January 25, 2010

so i don’t know how the heck i managed this– i guess it must have been saturday’s getting-back-on-track high– but i got my mother to buy me the book skinny bitch. in the actual bookstore. sure, i could have just ordered it online when i got home but we were in the bookstore and it was on one of the special release shelves and i was pumped up from eating some really tasty chinese food at dinner… and i just kind of picked it up and started walking with it.

and then we were looking at all the books we’d accumulated and she said why would you want that? all suspiciously– because in her mind i’m just so skinny that if i lose another ounce i’ll die. (uh huh. right) and so i said, because it’s funny. and it IS. but that’s not why i want it…

and then i also got this anorexia/ bulimia diary on the sale shelf (excellent! i LOVE a good sale) i just said, wow! this should be interesting. but that one i kind of DID hide in our pile of books… 😉

i don’t know. that was quite the feat for me!!!

i had a dream

September 10, 2009

… last night. i was going to a school function (some senior class/ graduation thing) and i saw this really nice teacher i had sophmore year (she still says hi to me, etc. even though i wasn’t interested in her subject). i told her that i wanted to leave because only people who i really dislike were there and we started talking and she was like, “wait… did you lose weight? you’re so skinny!” and the teacher next to he was like, “yeah. you are!” and something about my arms. it was flattering, but also slightly accusatory so i just said, “i’ve been running a lot” which wasn’t/ isn’t true.

i woke up feeling happy 🙂

any dream interpreters out there care to take a gander at what this means?

i’m anxiously awaiting for her new movie, coco avant chanel, to come out in the us, so i’ve decided to post some pictures of the wonderful actress as a tribute to her. i think that some of the pictures may be from the new film:

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i LOOOVE this picture! it might just be my favorite of her…

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in hors de prix

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from coco (yay!)

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da vinci code

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she’s so gorgeous! i wish i looked like her…

anyway, i have a lot more pictures, but apparently the file type isn’t compatible with wordpress (?) so i’ll have to try to work something out.

yay!

check it out: http://prunfriendly.wordpress.com/

julia frakes thinspiration

August 15, 2009

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i love the bag!

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and i adore the color of her hair 🙂

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… and her colorful tights (i wish i could pull those off…)

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ugh. julia frakes is so awesome. she has a super cool job, super cool style, AND she’s really skinny. (though maybe a bit too skinny…) and she’s really pretty imo. i love the whole pixie/ elf look. it’s something that i envy. (is that weird?)

i made a new bracelet because i was in the car for a while and i was bored 🙂

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my camera is crap, so the pictures are crap, but this is my new ana bracelet. (i now have 3!!!) 🙂

i have beads, but i decided not to put any on because i’m afriad of being too obvious, now that normal people are catching on to the whole red-beaded-bracelet thing. :-/

what do you think?

EDIT: you know what? the first person who orders a bracelet gets the bracelet (that she/he ordered) free! 🙂

if any of you guys are on twitter, look me up! i’m recyclefashion… and i think it would be sickly awesome if we could all chat! 🙂

also….

you might want to check out the ana bracelets (and mia bracelets) tab because…

I’VE ADDED NEW STYLES!!!

yay!

and i’ll add new colors as soon as i can get to the craft store… so check it out! and keep checking! 🙂

i just posted an ad!

August 11, 2009

isn’t it pretty???

http://www.hoobly.com/0/0/982433.html

yayayayay

July 31, 2009

he’s home! he’s home! my love-crush is home! which means he’s safe… which means he didn’t get killed by a giant spider. 🙂

i’ve been waiting for this day for over a month. a frickin MONTH! and now it’s here. and he’s back in the same country as me, in the same state. and i WOULD feel happy…

if i didn’t have to go away tomorrow! which means that i’m going to have to wait a whole other week to see him… maybe even two if practice happens to get rained out on my one possible day that i could see him when i return.

*sigh*

i want to be perfect for him. i want to be beautiful, smart, and skinny. but not too skinny… guys don’t like girls who are ALL bone. but high 90s. that would be a compromise. 🙂

i miss him. he’s here somewhere, but i miss him. i miss undoing my scarve as we talk about cats when i’ve just come in from the cold and the way he looks at me when i’ve done or said something funny. it’s so beautiful that it hurt me… with such pleasurable pain for i knew it wouldn’t last.

and it hasn’t. that moment isn’t with me now… only in my memory. and i’m probably remebering it wrong (memories can be deceptive, you know).

gosh, i need to see him.

i did a very bad thing. i very very bad thing.

you see, i love you guys. if you’re reading this or have ever read my blog, or have even glanced at my blog, i love you. because i need support. we ALL need support– especially us with EDs.

but, you see. i let you down. and i don’t know if any of you know it. well, i know one person did. she was kind enough to leave a comment, which in my shakey, anxiety medicinal haze, i deleted.

ok. maybe i shouldn;t use the word “haze.” that implies that it was accidental. it wasn’t; i was just ashamed.

so here it is: that website where my friend is selling her clothes? that friend is me. i was advertising– ADVERTISING– on this blog, my sacred grounds. i’ve been a very, very bad little ana.

so, i am sorry. deeply sorry. and to repent, i will make you all bracelets! (seriously)

so… i hope that you all forgive me, because again, i love you and would be nothing without you.