today i’m a human again

August 26, 2009

… at least, i’ve gone back to eating like one. all that running and calorie burning required me to eat WAAAY more than i’m comfortable with. it actually made me feel sick.

i miss running though– not sprinting, but slow-paced, long distance running. like what i was doing to prepare.

but now i’d feel like a doofus doing it, as i have nothing to prepare for.

i kind of want to join cross country, but i have no friends doing it, and i’m not sure i’ll have time over the year.

i just missing being on a team. supporting my school. being a part of something.

and now i’m alone. again. and i realized today that i only have 3 real friends, and only 1 goes to my school.

maybe i’ll do winter track once my applications are in. i don’t know.

i can’t believe none of my “friends” still haven’t called. i really can’t.

ugh. i feel depressed right now. i hope it gets better when school starts. :-/

thinspiration 8/19

August 19, 2009

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i love this dress

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is that emma watson???

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ah! i need these calves!!!

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random thought for today: i wish that what i wore everyday was interesting enough for me to blog about it. ESPECIALLY in the summer. i have so much time that i could be crafting perfect outfits but i’m too lazy; i put on a t-shirt and shorts everyday. and usually, it’s the same pair of shorts. they’re from jcrew and they’re my favorite. 🙂

any vegetarians out there?

August 17, 2009

i know i’m one! 🙂

for moral reasons– not so much health reasons, ironically.

if you aren’t one, i don’t judge (i’m not like that 😉  ) but if you are, i found a very useful website, happycow.net

there’s forums, chats, restaurant reviews,… it’s vegetarian/ pescatarian/ frutarian/ everything else like that haven.

in other news…

i ran today. and it was HOT. there was literally a heat warning, so i had to wait until the sun went down a bit, but it was still over 100.

and there were these weird kids on skateboards who don’t even live in my town following me. :-/

and i saw my kind-of-friend’s parents walking their dog and had to say hi and how are you? and all that jazz WHILE i was still running.

but i did it, and i finished in full sprint. 🙂

and you know what? i did that whole breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth thing, and i think it was good for my asthma.

ugh. i really hope i’m in shape enough to handle preseason/ tryouts…

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i LOVE this outfit… cute sunglasses! 🙂

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something just happened and i’m really upset about it… i don’t know what to do. i really feel on that line… that i don;t want to eat because i’m afriad of binging sort of line.

i feel really messed up… i actually feel like hurting myself. and that’s something i never wanted to do. i’m not sure if i can do this anymore… this blog, twitter. you guys on wordpress have been so kind to me (so so so kind) but i’v been betrayed on twitter. until i sort that out, i think i have to go on hiatus.

i’ll be back, i hope. 😦

back on the running wagon

August 13, 2009

i estimate that i ran about 2 miles yesterday. i wanted to vomit after, but i didn’t feel much shortness of breath and my muscles weren’t even that sore. i’d say that’s pretty good for not having run in about 2 weeks. 🙂

i think i’m gonna run today again since i’m not feeling sore… another 2 miles. to burn off my breakfast: monkey bread. no joke. ugh…. i’m so gross.

i think i should also do some light dumbells… or hit around a field hockey ball to get ready for tryouts. since i’m gonna suck it up and play one last time. (thank you, commenters!) it may not be a blast, but i know i would regret not playing…

so, how are you guys?

i made a new bracelet because i was in the car for a while and i was bored 🙂

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my camera is crap, so the pictures are crap, but this is my new ana bracelet. (i now have 3!!!) 🙂

i have beads, but i decided not to put any on because i’m afriad of being too obvious, now that normal people are catching on to the whole red-beaded-bracelet thing. :-/

what do you think?

EDIT: you know what? the first person who orders a bracelet gets the bracelet (that she/he ordered) free! 🙂

if any of you guys are on twitter, look me up! i’m recyclefashion… and i think it would be sickly awesome if we could all chat! 🙂

also….

you might want to check out the ana bracelets (and mia bracelets) tab because…

I’VE ADDED NEW STYLES!!!

yay!

and i’ll add new colors as soon as i can get to the craft store… so check it out! and keep checking! 🙂

i just posted an ad!

August 11, 2009

isn’t it pretty???

http://www.hoobly.com/0/0/982433.html

can i tell you the truth?

August 11, 2009

i HATE field hockey. hate it. i love the sport, but i despise playing it at a higher level. i dislike most of the people who play, and competition freaks me out.

and i really hate not being the best.

and i hate practices and all of the sprinting that we have to do, because not only does it bulk up thighs, but it’s damn painful.

but…

i LOVE the things it does to my upper-body (six-pack much?) and arms. and i adore the uniform and i enjoy being part of something. it’s like a sorority.

AND i love how it will allow me to see my love a bit more. that’s always nice.

but…

it takes up SO MUCH FRICKING TIME! time that i should be using to complete my school work and study and EMT… because that’s the kind of stuff that could potentially get me into an ivy league college. NOT field hockey.

and i can always scorekeep and be pseudo- part of the team.

but…

i LOVE ordering all the clothes with the logo and whatnot– sweatshirts, sweatpants, shirts. it’s the most wonderful day when they finally come.

AND i’m finally a senior. i’m one of the top dogs. i’ve waited years to be in this position.

so i don’t know. i can’t tell if i want to quit because i’m lazy or because i really think it’s for my own good. in fact, i’m not really sure if i even want to quit. maybe that’s just what i want today. and yesterday. and the day before.

ugh! i have no clue! what do you guys think i should do?

ok… so while i was gone i met a lot of people, a number of them very thinpirational people. i won’t put there pictures up here, but i can tell you about them:

two of them were twins–very petite twins (only 5 ft). swimmers. only ate organicalley (something about their mom being a health nut). never had cheetos. never had pop tarts. thin, muscular legs and arms. one could do 18 pull-ups but wasn’t at all bulky.

another played soccer and seemed to be a pretty healthy eater. she was taller… maybe 5’5 or 5’6. here legs and arms were, again, muscular but not bulky. she was extremely active, always kicking around a ball. she also had very narrow shoulders.

the last one i recall was a dancer. she was very tall. 5’9 or 5’10 and VERY skinny, with long legs and graceful arms. she was also an extreme health nut. she ate salad for both lunch and dinner, and yogurt and a banana for breakfast. she also ran whenever she could, and had a long, ballerina neck.

these people were very inspiring to me, as they all had two things in common: they ate healthily and were active. well, and a third: they were skinny.

so, if change my ways, i can be skinny too.

anyone else want to challenge themselves? i’d love to have a buddy. 🙂