is this true?

September 5, 2009

i read online that these colors represent these things (for lack of a better word):

Red: Anoerexia
Purple: Bulimia
Green: fasting at that time
Black: Si (self injury)
Blue: depression
Pink: ednos (eating disorder not yet specified)
Orange: SIer (self injuryier)
Orange and White: recovered SIer
Ana Recovery-Red and Black
Mia Recovery-purple and black
cutter recovery-blue and black
ednos recovery-black/green/blue
orange or black = self harm
yellow = suicidal
blue or green = depression
green = manic/bipolar depression
teal = anxiety disorder + ocd + panic disorder

i mean, i knew the basics (though i was under the impression that bulimia is blue), but the rest of these symbolic colors are completely foreign to me. has anyone else heard of this?

i’m anxiously awaiting for her new movie, coco avant chanel, to come out in the us, so i’ve decided to post some pictures of the wonderful actress as a tribute to her. i think that some of the pictures may be from the new film:

i LOOOVE this picture! it might just be my favorite of her…

in hors de prix

from coco (yay!)

da vinci code


she’s so gorgeous! i wish i looked like her…

anyway, i have a lot more pictures, but apparently the file type isn’t compatible with wordpress (?) so i’ll have to try to work something out.


check it out:

julia frakes thinspiration

August 15, 2009


i love the bag!



and i adore the color of her hair 🙂


… and her colorful tights (i wish i could pull those off…)


ugh. julia frakes is so awesome. she has a super cool job, super cool style, AND she’s really skinny. (though maybe a bit too skinny…) and she’s really pretty imo. i love the whole pixie/ elf look. it’s something that i envy. (is that weird?)

i made a new bracelet because i was in the car for a while and i was bored 🙂



my camera is crap, so the pictures are crap, but this is my new ana bracelet. (i now have 3!!!) 🙂

i have beads, but i decided not to put any on because i’m afriad of being too obvious, now that normal people are catching on to the whole red-beaded-bracelet thing. :-/

what do you think?

EDIT: you know what? the first person who orders a bracelet gets the bracelet (that she/he ordered) free! 🙂

if any of you guys are on twitter, look me up! i’m recyclefashion… and i think it would be sickly awesome if we could all chat! 🙂


you might want to check out the ana bracelets (and mia bracelets) tab because…



and i’ll add new colors as soon as i can get to the craft store… so check it out! and keep checking! 🙂

i just posted an ad!

August 11, 2009

isn’t it pretty???


July 31, 2009

he’s home! he’s home! my love-crush is home! which means he’s safe… which means he didn’t get killed by a giant spider. 🙂

i’ve been waiting for this day for over a month. a frickin MONTH! and now it’s here. and he’s back in the same country as me, in the same state. and i WOULD feel happy…

if i didn’t have to go away tomorrow! which means that i’m going to have to wait a whole other week to see him… maybe even two if practice happens to get rained out on my one possible day that i could see him when i return.


i want to be perfect for him. i want to be beautiful, smart, and skinny. but not too skinny… guys don’t like girls who are ALL bone. but high 90s. that would be a compromise. 🙂

i miss him. he’s here somewhere, but i miss him. i miss undoing my scarve as we talk about cats when i’ve just come in from the cold and the way he looks at me when i’ve done or said something funny. it’s so beautiful that it hurt me… with such pleasurable pain for i knew it wouldn’t last.

and it hasn’t. that moment isn’t with me now… only in my memory. and i’m probably remebering it wrong (memories can be deceptive, you know).

gosh, i need to see him.

i did a very bad thing. i very very bad thing.

you see, i love you guys. if you’re reading this or have ever read my blog, or have even glanced at my blog, i love you. because i need support. we ALL need support– especially us with EDs.

but, you see. i let you down. and i don’t know if any of you know it. well, i know one person did. she was kind enough to leave a comment, which in my shakey, anxiety medicinal haze, i deleted.

ok. maybe i shouldn;t use the word “haze.” that implies that it was accidental. it wasn’t; i was just ashamed.

so here it is: that website where my friend is selling her clothes? that friend is me. i was advertising– ADVERTISING– on this blog, my sacred grounds. i’ve been a very, very bad little ana.

so, i am sorry. deeply sorry. and to repent, i will make you all bracelets! (seriously)

so… i hope that you all forgive me, because again, i love you and would be nothing without you.

it’s a dennis/ babcock situation: katherine heigl’s on grey’s for a full season longer than kate walsh AND she wins awards for the show. but guess who gets her own show? kate walsh. (not that i’m coplaining; i LOVE her!)

it must suck. so she starts bitching out the writers. it isn;t the most mature thing to do, but it’s understandable. but how do the writers retaliate? they kill off izzie. (at least, i’m pretty sure she’s dead.)

i mean, we anas try so damn hard to be skinny and perfect. it’s exhausting. but then we all have a friend of acquaintance (or maybe nultiple) who eat crap– loads of crap– and are still tinier than us. and it sucks. and there’s nothing we can do about it. we could eat less, exercie more, but we’re not meant to be that size; it would kill us.

life isn’t fair. we all know it. but if you get fed up and try to mess with the balance of things, it will only come back to kick you in the ass. and i’m not saying don;t diet, or don;t sudy, because you SHOULD if that’s what you want, but don’t go overboard. don’t stay up all night studying how to convert grams to moles, and don’t starve yourself; moderation is key.

i hope you don;t think i’m being hypocritical here; i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m no longer anorexic. i eat 1000- 1200 calories a day. i do believe that it’s restriction and i do believe that i have some sort of ED, but i don’t think it’s anorexia. though, PLEASE, correct me if i’m wrong; EDs can be extremely confusing.

i recommend this number of calories to all of you, as well as moderate exercise on the 1200 cal days. it’s a fast way to weight loss, but not too fast. it’s maybe a pound a week.

i want all of us to take care of ourselves. that’s all i have to say.