c’est moi

December 11, 2010

this is what i look like right now, at 102.8, a weight that i’ve remained at for many moons… and one that makes me uncomfortable, as i really really really want to get back to the 90s. when i left for college, i was at 93! hopefully, some of this is muscle from all the crazy hills here and the walking i’ve been doing. and the occasional visit to the gym (i REALLY need to start going more. next semester).

and NOT weight from the beginning of some Freshman 15 fiasco or the crazy high-cal days i’ve been having: like, around 2000 cal. at home, at school… i’m not sure what triggers them, but that isn’t going to matter, for i’m not going to let them happen again. i’ve been doing really well this past week, so… yeah. i’m gonna best this, or whatever. (i’m tired.)

side note: i’m actually starting to think that my scale may be broken, because my guy friend likes to weigh himself on it from time to time and he’s REALLY tall and weighs a lot more than me, and when my brothers were here, they weighed themselves and one of them claimed he weighed 10 lbs more on my scale. (the other said nothing, but he usually doesn’t.) so hopefully that means i weigh a bit less than 102… though i fear i may weight more, for i’m not a fan of what my stomach and thighs have been up to lately.

so, yeah. that’s annoying.

and if you saw the stack of paper that i have to read in order to do well on my anthropology final, you might cry. and i NEED to ace this final because anthropology is my thing. it’s what i do, who i am, all that jazz…

and now my printer has run out of ink. oh, joy.

BUUUT luckily i’m going home on wednesday for 5 WHOLE WEEKS!!! no homework, classes, tests… just hanging out with my family and my old friends. and watching tv. and eating healthy, home-cooked meals (thank goodness my mom is trying to lose weight at well! not that she knows i’m trying to lose any…), and perhaps a bubble-bath or two? (i haven’t had one of those in ages…)

so… cheers to that! and i hope all of you who are having finals now aren’t stressed out too much 🙂

a tout a l’heure (when i WILL post thinspo)

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bloat?

October 9, 2009

i’m a bit less bloated, but still bloated. i think it’s because this week i’ve been a tad sleep deprived, and therefore, lacking in my usual willpower.

conclusion? i ate too much.

grrr.

i mean, i haven’t quite binged (though i’ve been SOOO tempted to on freshly-made rice crispy treats…) but 1100 and 1200 is not me. and my stomach has obviously been quite influenced. in fact, my stomach is always quick to change.

example: in the morning after not eating too much the day before, it may be flat, the ribs semi-apparent. looks good. then i eat breakfast… maybe just a luna bar. what happens to my stomach? the gut bumps out and any tight shirt is unacceptable.

this is why i never wear skin-tight tops.

but anyway, it’s weird. i think that my stomach likes to rebel against me.

thoughts?

pictures:

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i LOVE this outfit… cute sunglasses! 🙂

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something just happened and i’m really upset about it… i don’t know what to do. i really feel on that line… that i don;t want to eat because i’m afriad of binging sort of line.

i feel really messed up… i actually feel like hurting myself. and that’s something i never wanted to do. i’m not sure if i can do this anymore… this blog, twitter. you guys on wordpress have been so kind to me (so so so kind) but i’v been betrayed on twitter. until i sort that out, i think i have to go on hiatus.

i’ll be back, i hope. 😦