alone

October 17, 2010

so guess who didn’t show up last night? or text. or call. or answer my call. yeah, that would be CG.

i really wanted to come. i thought this time would be different. i thought we would fall asleep together, and he’d realize that i’m what he wants. he always complains about how girls always see him as just a friend, but i don’t. i’m here. i’m not unattractive.

i try to be a good friend. i try. he seems like he isn’t trying at all these days.

i really need to stop becoming enamored with people who can’t/ won’t reciprocate. i guess it’s all part of having “daddy issues” from a lack of any consistent father-figure. (i mean, i LOVE my dad, but we didn’t spend much time together.)

c’est la vie.

anyhow, i just got back from brunch:

^^^ i ate this. and then i went and got more of the dim sum.

my estimate? 900 calories. terrific. but i AM going to a concert tonight (Phoenix) and so i will make it a point to dance.

and i have my gym class today. and a LOT of studying (not much time to think about food, i hope).

i need to do this! i’ve already lost almost 2 pounds since last week! 3 more and i’m back into the 90s where i want to be. and when i’m 98, i’m going to buy myself a briefcase-inspired satchel. in brown.

🙂 / 😦

au revoir!

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you know that guy i’ve been talking about? well, i don’t know if i told you that we’re emailing, but we are.

kind of.

you see, i emailed him back an email and he has not replied in 3 weeks. and do you know what that does to a girl like me?

flips her out!

i mean, he’s probably just busy… but then that begs the obvious retort, too busy for me? the girl you said you’d miss? yeah right.

guys lie. they’re liars!

but what if that’s not it. (this is the scary part) what if he suddenly realized that omg i’ve been in love with him for 2 years? and now he’s avoiding me because he feels awkward because he doesn’t feel the same way…

or because he’s not supposed to.

i just wish he’d write back. to clear my head… and because i miss him. a lot. he’s in my dreams pretty much every night… :-/

this all makes me feel like such a stalker-freak. so… enough. thinspo time:

ps. wordpress is SOOO much better than blogspot. uploading pictures is a fiasco and reading other people’s blogs is so irritating that i’ve pretty much stopped doing it.

also, none of you are there. so yeah. wordpress is king!!!