hey, everybody!

June 13, 2010

i just did an hour of yoga!

…ok, actually just 40 minutes, but that’s pretty good, right? i exercise at gym at school about every other day (elliptical or treadmill) and occasionally use my crap elliptical at home when i freak about about eating too much (i guess a part of me is exercise-bulimic…?) or dance when my ipod just happens to be on and playing a good song and i’m alone, but i’ve never had much of a consistent, at-home routine.

maybe it’s time to start one. maybe i’m not young enough anymore that i can get away with simply dieting to lose weight and look fabulous. (i AM of voting age now, after all…)

i found my yoga video on my netflix instant play thing and there’s dancing and pilates too, so maybe once school’s out i should do a video every other day, and for now, do one a week…

i think that’s a good plan, right?

in further news, when i get to where i want to be body-wise, i want to try acting or modeling. my dream is to take a train across the country to los angeles and stay for a few weeks to a month and just audition like crazy! i could stay in some motel or rent a crap apartment… and i don’t know who i’d go with. could i go alone? it’s kind of going against the whole buddy-system rule…

i guess my plan still needs some ironing out, but it sounds promising, right? i wish i could go this summer, but i’m going to have a lot to do to get ready for college, so i’m setting my sights on next summer.

maybe this summer, i can just start in new york. which would make sense. why go across the country when i can audition locally? i mean, i guess i view los angeles as having more opportunities, but then again i’ve never been there…

so new york. this summer. PRACTICE.

and in order to get anywhere, especially since i haven’t acted since middle school and wasn’t particularly good, i’m going to need to look awesome. have that whole star-quality thing down. good body. good hair. good clothes. good skin. (any tips for good skin, btw? it’s usually OK, but around THAT TIME… not great 😦 )

what do you think? this is crazy, right? but maybe it would be fun, and i’d know i tried when i was young…

anyway, how about some pictures?

^^^i want these thighs

^^^ sometimes i wish i were model-tall… or even just tall… or of a normal height

^^^i’m OBSESSED with nautical stripes. esp in navy.

^^^the way she walks, she looks like a much-skinnier version of me. all i need are those lovely arms and calves… but i feel like my calves are so bulky/ stumpy, and not long and lean. anyone know what i can do about that?

alright, everyone. happy sunday! and don’t forget to dream big 🙂

i had a dream

September 10, 2009

… last night. i was going to a school function (some senior class/ graduation thing) and i saw this really nice teacher i had sophmore year (she still says hi to me, etc. even though i wasn’t interested in her subject). i told her that i wanted to leave because only people who i really dislike were there and we started talking and she was like, “wait… did you lose weight? you’re so skinny!” and the teacher next to he was like, “yeah. you are!” and something about my arms. it was flattering, but also slightly accusatory so i just said, “i’ve been running a lot” which wasn’t/ isn’t true.

i woke up feeling happy 🙂

any dream interpreters out there care to take a gander at what this means?

happy memorial day

May 25, 2009

you know what’s weird? i keep having dreams that i’m in musicals, and i’m usually the star or have a really good part with at least one solo song. but i never actually know what i’m doing. i don’t know my lines or my cues or blocking or anything. in the one i had last night, i didn’t know the words or the octave of my solo song until 30 seconds before i went on.

why is this? any dream interpreters out there? does this have anything to do with weight loss? because i feel like the dreams started around the time i really got commited…

anyway… i feel really yucky right now. full and bloated… even though i really didn’t eat too much today. i mean, i ate 1300 cal which i’m not thrilled with but for full-on eating for a day, it’s not bad. so why do i feel like i’m going to explode?!?

my bracelet still hasn’t come in the mail… you know, that calorie tracker bracelet i ordered about a week ago. and i feel like i really need it. now. oh pleeease come! i need to get back on track… and today was hot which just reminded me of how far i have left to go some more. ugh! i hate the heat.  😦

so… i read some more of wintergirls today. it’s good… and pretty trippy. so far, i still really like it. here’s another quote:

I am the space between my thighs, daylight shining through.

yay! ok… i’m REEEALLY tired (can you tell? i feel like i’m writint really fast and not really thinking…) so i’m just gonna go now. and oh! happy memorial day! yay!