here’s some (th)inspiration:

December 12, 2010

Bridal Boot Camp.

ps. i love this blog in general. it’s had me laughing like a loon for the past three hours.

c’est moi

December 11, 2010

this is what i look like right now, at 102.8, a weight that i’ve remained at for many moons… and one that makes me uncomfortable, as i really really really want to get back to the 90s. when i left for college, i was at 93! hopefully, some of this is muscle from all the crazy hills here and the walking i’ve been doing. and the occasional visit to the gym (i REALLY need to start going more. next semester).

and NOT weight from the beginning of some Freshman 15 fiasco or the crazy high-cal days i’ve been having: like, around 2000 cal. at home, at school… i’m not sure what triggers them, but that isn’t going to matter, for i’m not going to let them happen again. i’ve been doing really well this past week, so… yeah. i’m gonna best this, or whatever. (i’m tired.)

side note: i’m actually starting to think that my scale may be broken, because my guy friend likes to weigh himself on it from time to time and he’s REALLY tall and weighs a lot more than me, and when my brothers were here, they weighed themselves and one of them claimed he weighed 10 lbs more on my scale. (the other said nothing, but he usually doesn’t.) so hopefully that means i weigh a bit less than 102… though i fear i may weight more, for i’m not a fan of what my stomach and thighs have been up to lately.

so, yeah. that’s annoying.

and if you saw the stack of paper that i have to read in order to do well on my anthropology final, you might cry. and i NEED to ace this final because anthropology is my thing. it’s what i do, who i am, all that jazz…

and now my printer has run out of ink. oh, joy.

BUUUT luckily i’m going home on wednesday for 5 WHOLE WEEKS!!! no homework, classes, tests… just hanging out with my family and my old friends. and watching tv. and eating healthy, home-cooked meals (thank goodness my mom is trying to lose weight at well! not that she knows i’m trying to lose any…), and perhaps a bubble-bath or two? (i haven’t had one of those in ages…)

so… cheers to that! and i hope all of you who are having finals now aren’t stressed out too much 🙂

a tout a l’heure (when i WILL post thinspo)

no no NO

November 16, 2010

i’m not putting up with this crap anymore. i’m getting on track and i’m STAYING on track… none of this, i-look-good-so-i-can-slack crap.

that isn’t happening anymore. IT CAN’T.

the past three days i’ve gone over my allotted calories… and so now i’m bloated, which makes me angry, etc. i mean, all day i just kept thinking about how i could be looking so much better.

i’m just so freaking self-destructive! 😦

anyone want a texting buddy? i need someone to talk me out of eating!!!

i’m also going to start posting thinspo everyday… and exercising AT LEAST twice a week outside of my gym class.

help me!!! 😦

at peace?

November 9, 2010

I really think I might be over CG… but now my feelings for TA have increased, and that, unfortunately, is a no-go. At least, for now!

And I still have feelings for OG, who should be a no-go, but I just keep poking holes. Poke poke poke. Reminding him that I’m here, reminding him that he has other viable (and possibly, preferable) choices. And I will keep doing this… until he has children. Yes. Then I will stop… because I TRY to be a decent person.

Sometimes. Kind of.

So, I guess TA is the more probable of the two… so maybe I should start putting some money on him? (i.e. going to see him more. I need to soon anyway… darn project!)

My love life, though pretty much non-existant, is nonetheless screwed up, oui?

So… cheers to that! Thinspo:

ps. I have too much darn food in my room! Remind me to say NO to going to the grocery store… 😦

thinspo for 11/7

November 7, 2010

yes! another creative title 😉

not to honk my own horn (is that the expression?), but i’m very pleased with this batch of thinspo. what do you think?

comments= love 😉

99.6

November 7, 2010

I’m back, baby!

At least for today. At least for this weigh-in.

And, at least in terms of weight.

I’m still guy-less. I shouldn’t feel desperate but I am. I texted this guy last last, whom I met during orientation (let’s call him OG… except, I already have one of those, don’t I? Well, I met him randomly, so let’s call him RG. So now, to clarify, there’s an RG, OG, CG, and TA). I asked if he wanted to go see a movie but he said he was too busy with work.

And I have no reason to believe that’s not the case, because I ran into him last week and he was grabbing a sandwich to take back to his room because he had to study with prelims.

Regardless, I was disappointed… but I ended up watching Amelie at the community center, and that’s one of my favorite movies, so it ended up being a pretty good night!

*sigh* I love Audrey Tautou. She’s gorgeous and thin…

But I digress.

Maybe the secret to happiness is always having a viable Plan B.

And being asexual.

happy halloween!

October 31, 2010

i almost forgot about it… and then i looked at the date. so… happy happy!

just, don’t eat too much candy 🙂

it’s my first college halloween, so i’ll definitely be going out! (apparently, people have been going out in costume all weekend. there’s nothing quite like walking back from a friend’s– CG’s 🙂 — and seeing spongebob stumbling around…)

i shall be the glorious daphne from none other than scooby doo, and my wonderful friends will be the lesser characters 😉

what are you guys going out as?

apple cider vinegar

October 20, 2010

(by the way, i’m posting this from the building i take french in. how cool is that? i love laptops!)

this stuff is amazing: put it in water and it suppresses your appetite. put it on your skin and it cleans and dries out pimples.

it does smell really gross though… which i suppose is a good thing when you’re trying to avoid food.

so i had lunch with CG yesterday. and some of his friends. at first it was awkward like it usually is, but then i started to get more comfortable and they started talking to me instead of around me and it was kind of fun. they aren’t the kind of people i would choose as friends for myself, but they can be very entertaining.

anyway, i just thought of that because i’m waiting for him now. he has a class in this building in about half an hour, so we usually get to talk either before or after. its nice.

i’m still attracted to him, and i get jealous when he so much as talks to another girl, but i’m beginning to come to terms with the fact that he isn’t the one i want, and that we’d probably make a horrible couple.

also, another guy has come into the picture. i’ll call him TA because that’s what he is: my TA.

why does this always happen? 😉

… 200

REALLY! and i’m not even hungry. at all. i only ate lunch because i was with people… and then i only got a small soup.

how? why? coffee. coffee is magical.

i usually don’t drink coffee. at all. but today i decided to drink some, for i heard it can be good for weight loss and such… and i drank A LOT. a whole thermos full, with just a hint of soymilk in it.

and i’m relatively petite.

SO it had a pretty darn big effect on me! therefore, i will not drink quite THAT much again, but i think on thursday i’m going to have a bit. and then i’ll have a bit on tuesdays and thursdays.

that way, i’ll have 2 low cal days a week AND i hopefully won’t build up a tolerance to the stuff.

win-win, correct?

gah, i’m caffeine-high right now…

i have more that i want to tell you, but i think i’m going to wait until i’m less jittery 😉 . until then, thinspo?

i guess the blogging gods are on my side today!

aside: i LOVE the deschanels. just saying.

alrighty, then!

ps. i’m looking for feedback: do you like the pictures i’m posting of my food? are you getting anything out of it, or is it just a waste of space? feel free to be honest! (but kind 🙂 )

happy day, all!!!

suddenly monday

October 18, 2010

^^^ this is what i ate for lunch. tofu, brussel sprouts, and tofu chili. i’ll put it at 500 calories to be safe, but all this vegan food tends to be pretty darn healthy. i mean, this meal is at least 1/2 vegetable… and other meals can be 3/4 vegetable.

and it’s yummy!

honestly, i don’t know where i’m going with this post, because i started it while i was ichating with a friend from another college. but yeah.

i had a 200 cal breakfast, but i burned that off speed-walking back and forth around campus all day, so i’m at 500 cal. that means i will allow myself to have 500 cal at dinner.

yep.

i feel boring today… maybe after yesterday’s drama. all of the sudden, i just couldn’t handle any of my feelings and i got really upset about CG. but then last night i had a dream about the guy back home (did i give him a name? regardless, he’s now OG for older guy). It took place a year from now, and he was telling me how it wasn’t working out with his gf (who i think was his new wife in the dream). something about kids: he wanted them; she didn’t. i told him i wanted kids, and he gave me that look he’s been growing fonder of ever since last year– the one that knows that under different circumstances we’d be compatible.

and so when i woke up, i’d forgotten all about CG. after all, he, and any other guy for that matter, will always simply be a consolation prize.

and then i went to my history discussion and realized all over again how cute my TA is– how much he resembles OG. except, i thought, a younger version. (apparently, only 1/2 a year younger… why do i always think guys are younger than they are? wishful thinking?)

anyway, now my friends are beginning to think i’m crazy… and i am, but not because of the people i’m attracted to.

or am i?

this was a pointless post. i’m sorry. maybe thinspo would help?

except that the stupid attachment thing won’t load my photos. perfect.

i’m going to fix this… and then i’ll be back.