as promised

^^^ if only…

^^^ i LOVE gemma!!! she’s so beautiful

can i talk about something a little off topic? right now i’m experiencing semi-requited love. he’s with someone and he’s very committed (ie committed to be engaged) but i know that he has feelings for me and has probably thought a couple of if… then… statements regarding me. and i wish he would admit this, though i understand he can’t, but it’s painful. it’s painful to know that the feelings are there but a relationship will probably never even be attempted… wasted feelings… so close, yet so far… and to know that i’ll probably never get any confirmation of this from him… that i could be imagining it, though i’m not the only one who sees it… no, sir.

i don’t think that anyone should have to wonder, and i think that if someone attached does wonder, it might be an indication that something in the relationship is awry. not that i’ve ever been in a serious relationship… those are just my thoughts, if they’re comprehensible.

i just wish there was something bold, but not destructive to him or his current relationship that i could do to… i don’t know… feel somewhat satisfied that i did all i could to make this one dream really happen.

what do you think? (i’m sorry that i’ve been asking so many questions lately)

an experiment

February 13, 2010

it’s early here, so i’m doing a bit of an experiment: if i see thinspo early, will i eat less than usual?

we shall see. we shall see… 😉

failure friday

February 12, 2010

at least, that’s usually what friday is for me because i’m always EXHAUSTED after a week of school and homework and running around the hallways that all my willpower vanishes.

but not today.

it’s been SUCH a long time since i actually met my goal on a friday, and i fear that this will turn into a habit. and that would, frankly, suck.

so i’m going to eat some oranges, a healthy dinner, maybe a smidge of dessert and do my spastic-dance thing. (that’s my new favorite exercise; it’s sooo much fun! 🙂 )

so, what do you say? let’s all reach our goals today so we can feel GREAT tomorrow morning!

^ her wrists are so small and dainty

procrastination thinspo

February 11, 2010

because i REALLY don’t feel like doing my homework right now 😉

^i LOOOVE stripes! they seem so… french. i’m really into that right now

^ she reminds me of gemma ward

either that or i’m going crazy, but i feel like my thighs and calves are slowly expanding again and it’s driving me INSANE!

anyone have tips? eating? exercise? i’ve gotta get this under control… 😦

i only ate about 600 calories… and it was ALL of healthy stuff (sushi, veggies, etc.)… and i’m not hungry. in fact, i didn’t even try to constrict; it just happened. like some sort of witchcraft. so i’m very proud of myself today! and also a little bit nervous that i might be coming down with something again… :-/

anyhow, here’s some thinspo:






most of these pictures are from a blog completely focused on thinspiration. it’s a good blog, especially since many of the pictures are of real girls– not models or celebrities. they’re skinny without all of those fancy diets and trainors. that’s more realistic.

you can find the blog here:

gemma ward

May 1, 2009

even though she gained weight a while back, can she still be a thinspiration? i mean, she was thin (mut not too thin imo) and so, so fashionable:



I read somewhere that she’s been trying to lose the weight. Does anyone know how that’s going?