sooo nervous

December 8, 2009

i’m sorry i haven’t posted recently, but i have a good reason! i think i told you guys i had swine flu, right? well i missed a WHOLE lot of school so i’ve been busy busy busy making up tests, copying notes, reading a whole book in two days (ehem)… etc.

i hope when i catch up i’ll be able to start blogging regularly again!

anyhow, this thursday (which is two days away) is a REALLY big day for my because i’m getting my college early decision results. i applied to an extremely competitive school so odds are i won’t get in… but i love the school so much!

ugh… i’m dreading it.

anyway, i find out at 5pm so if you happen to be looking at a clock and realize it’s 5 pm eastern time, i wouldn’t mind receiving some good vibes. 😉

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thanksgiving

November 28, 2009

this is my second favorite holiday… and can be my favorite in years when christmas doesn’t go as planned. before ed was a while ago so i can’t remember the exact feeling, but i remember loving everything about thanksgiving. i was always so hungry before the dinner that i thought that year would be the year that i finally didn’t get stuffed halfway through my small plate.

i wish being able to stop eating when i’m full.

i was talking to someone today and i realized that i’m a very extreme, all-or-nothing girl… especially when it comes to food. i mean, it’s not like i’ll literally eat nothing or a ton of food… it’s that i either have to be significantly under my alloted calories or i feel like it isn’t worth it and have a mini-binge to go over it. that’s why i’m very rarely in the 1200-1400 zone. it’s 1000 or it’s 1600.

but i’ve had a month or so of luck and have been able to stay closer to 1000… and i feel like that luck’s running out, or perhaps it’s just the leftovers screwing me over. either way, i’m very stressed and unhappy right now because i’ve had no deficit the last three days and my thighs, arms, and stomach are undoubtably bigger.

and now i’ve forgotten how to spell undoubtably and am spelling it wrong. frick.

and no my friend is calling me and asking her to drink with her and i finally understand peer pressure… but the one thing keeping me from going might just be my ed. who’d waste calories on vodka, right?

ugh. i blame this all on my swine flu. even before my past three days of disaster i had four days when i was home sick that went over the limit. my stomach probably stretched and is definitely stretching now and i have to go to frickin school on monday.

what a jolly post for a jolly holiday season, eh?

next post won’t be a rant. i promise.