alone

October 17, 2010

so guess who didn’t show up last night? or text. or call. or answer my call. yeah, that would be CG.

i really wanted to come. i thought this time would be different. i thought we would fall asleep together, and he’d realize that i’m what he wants. he always complains about how girls always see him as just a friend, but i don’t. i’m here. i’m not unattractive.

i try to be a good friend. i try. he seems like he isn’t trying at all these days.

i really need to stop becoming enamored with people who can’t/ won’t reciprocate. i guess it’s all part of having “daddy issues” from a lack of any consistent father-figure. (i mean, i LOVE my dad, but we didn’t spend much time together.)

c’est la vie.

anyhow, i just got back from brunch:

^^^ i ate this. and then i went and got more of the dim sum.

my estimate? 900 calories. terrific. but i AM going to a concert tonight (Phoenix) and so i will make it a point to dance.

and i have my gym class today. and a LOT of studying (not much time to think about food, i hope).

i need to do this! i’ve already lost almost 2 pounds since last week! 3 more and i’m back into the 90s where i want to be. and when i’m 98, i’m going to buy myself a briefcase-inspired satchel. in brown.

🙂 / 😦

au revoir!

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102.8

February 7, 2010

I had yet another sunday weigh-in and now i’m at 102.8. first i was happy about that because the number in the ones place was one less, and then i was angry when i realized that the number as a whole was only .2 less (1/5 a lb) but then i remembered that i’m probably at least somewhat bloated because of the time of the month, so then i was happy.

and then i had 1000 cal worth of mexican food, and now i’m sad. 😦

i still have time to do some exercise, though, and the rest i’ll make up tomorrow. plus, i’m sure that number isn’t the most anyone’s eaten during the super bowl, right?

^beautiful calves!

writing on my hand

February 2, 2010

i was in a bit of a rush yesterday so i completely forgot to share a trick i’m trying out: writing my current goal weight on my hand.

the two nines are written very small, of course, because i don’t want to draw attention to them. and they’re strategically placed so that if i’m wearing long sleeves, they’re hidden (as my arms are short for a lot of sleeves).

it’s nice to peek at them. someone offered me a cookie yesterday, and i looked at my numbers and said no. i regretted declining at first, but it feels so good to type this!!! i need to hold on to this feeling to give me more strength…

but, yes. this is what i’ve started doing. i don’t know how original it is; i just kind of did it monday in school without thinking about it, but i bet others have done the same. regardless, if you’re curious, give it a try if you haven’t!

today’s thinspo:

^ i’ve started to get into pictures w/ boyfriends (maybe because i’m single… 😉 ) so this won’t be the last of its kind you see on here!

i also just wanted to let you guys know that you’re awesome! seriously.  i LOVE receiving your comments; they’ve lifted my mood so many times!

so, thank you. i’m glad i’ve found such wonderful people here. 🙂

103

January 31, 2010

i’m 103. exactly.

103.0

when i was visiting relatives over the holidays, i was 103.3 and i though for sure i’d gained since then.

i guess not.

4 more pounds til i’m in the 90s once more. excuse my language, but shit that’s exciting! i remember hopping on that scale two years ago and being 96 and going to a party and looking so freaking good! i actually LIKED those picture when i saw them on facebook. (unlike my junior prom ones… *shudders*)

i hope you all are having similar victories! 🙂