101

December 20, 2010

while not perfect– or, really, ideal— it’s not 102.8!

woo-frickin’-hoo!!!

seriously, i was stuck on that darn number for… a week? 10 days? (something ridiculous)

and now i’ve finally made it off that number and onto a different, lower number. (and one without any of those decimal points, which i like. 101.0. so chic, so sleek.)

yay.

also… my finals are over! HUZZAH! and i’m home 🙂 which is nice because i love my family… and i have easy access to an exercise bike AND an elliptical in our wonderful basement ❤ for when i eat too much. it’s my way of purging, so i suppose i’m running down that path towards “exercise bulimia” or “exercise anorexia”… but isn’t it healthier to get rid of calories by exercising then by vomiting?

anyway… celebratory thinspo:

a demain

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no words, just pictures

November 8, 2010

happy halloween!

October 31, 2010

i almost forgot about it… and then i looked at the date. so… happy happy!

just, don’t eat too much candy 🙂

it’s my first college halloween, so i’ll definitely be going out! (apparently, people have been going out in costume all weekend. there’s nothing quite like walking back from a friend’s– CG’s 🙂 — and seeing spongebob stumbling around…)

i shall be the glorious daphne from none other than scooby doo, and my wonderful friends will be the lesser characters 😉

what are you guys going out as?

apple cider vinegar

October 20, 2010

(by the way, i’m posting this from the building i take french in. how cool is that? i love laptops!)

this stuff is amazing: put it in water and it suppresses your appetite. put it on your skin and it cleans and dries out pimples.

it does smell really gross though… which i suppose is a good thing when you’re trying to avoid food.

so i had lunch with CG yesterday. and some of his friends. at first it was awkward like it usually is, but then i started to get more comfortable and they started talking to me instead of around me and it was kind of fun. they aren’t the kind of people i would choose as friends for myself, but they can be very entertaining.

anyway, i just thought of that because i’m waiting for him now. he has a class in this building in about half an hour, so we usually get to talk either before or after. its nice.

i’m still attracted to him, and i get jealous when he so much as talks to another girl, but i’m beginning to come to terms with the fact that he isn’t the one i want, and that we’d probably make a horrible couple.

also, another guy has come into the picture. i’ll call him TA because that’s what he is: my TA.

why does this always happen? 😉

… 200

REALLY! and i’m not even hungry. at all. i only ate lunch because i was with people… and then i only got a small soup.

how? why? coffee. coffee is magical.

i usually don’t drink coffee. at all. but today i decided to drink some, for i heard it can be good for weight loss and such… and i drank A LOT. a whole thermos full, with just a hint of soymilk in it.

and i’m relatively petite.

SO it had a pretty darn big effect on me! therefore, i will not drink quite THAT much again, but i think on thursday i’m going to have a bit. and then i’ll have a bit on tuesdays and thursdays.

that way, i’ll have 2 low cal days a week AND i hopefully won’t build up a tolerance to the stuff.

win-win, correct?

gah, i’m caffeine-high right now…

i have more that i want to tell you, but i think i’m going to wait until i’m less jittery 😉 . until then, thinspo?

i guess the blogging gods are on my side today!

aside: i LOVE the deschanels. just saying.

alrighty, then!

ps. i’m looking for feedback: do you like the pictures i’m posting of my food? are you getting anything out of it, or is it just a waste of space? feel free to be honest! (but kind 🙂 )

happy day, all!!!

thinspo study-break!

October 17, 2010

i’ve been finding so much thinspo online that wasn’t there a couple of months ago! so exciting.

🙂

i am still here!

October 15, 2010

i haven’t posted in a very long time– possibly the longest i’ve gone since i started this blog. but i have a good reason: i left for college.

so now i’m here in a dorm. i have new friends, and new pounds. and the latter is really getting to me.

and you know where i used to go when i needed inspiration? here. so this is where i am.

i’m back!

i was a solid 96 pounds when i left home (which i was quite pleased with) and now ‘m in the 102-104 range and that ISN’T ok with me. i thought college would make losing weight easier, but it isn’t. i go with my friends to eat in order to have a social life, but in those all-you-can eat dining halls it’s so easy to slip up! they don’t post calories… and that freaks me out. i thought i’d be fine since i’m a vegan, but i guess not!

i’m now trying to get back on track, eating a lot of cooked vegetables, mushrooms, tofu, and raw vegetables with salsa. but my dorm has become a challenging place: sometimes i end up buying a box of cereal or vegan cookies and bringing them back with me and that’s no good. AND sometimes my mom ends up sending me food.

i need to start giving it away, the food she sends. and i need to stop buying food myself. only for immediate meals. and gum. lots of gum.

does anyone have any tips? this is all very new to me!

i also don’t have a roommate, which makes it easier for me to binge if i so choose. and i did once. and tried to throw it all up, but only got a little bit out. that was NOT a fun night. 😦

now, i’m off to shop for some thinspo! i’m excited to see all the new pictures up 🙂

so far today i’ve only had 250 cal, and my calorie graph i started when i started this blog last year still has a downward trend, so this is a good start.

weird day

June 16, 2010

today was a day i’m going to need time to reflect on in order to accept that it happened. it was just one of those days that was odd– like when you’re sitting in a room and thinking to yourself, i can’t really be here can i? surely, i’m not actually doing this, but you’re there and you are. and you can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

do you know what i’m talking about? i’m not the best at explanations…

pictures:

^^^ does anyone know who this is and/ or what this is an ad for?

as promised

^^^ if only…

^^^ i LOVE gemma!!! she’s so beautiful

can i talk about something a little off topic? right now i’m experiencing semi-requited love. he’s with someone and he’s very committed (ie committed to be engaged) but i know that he has feelings for me and has probably thought a couple of if… then… statements regarding me. and i wish he would admit this, though i understand he can’t, but it’s painful. it’s painful to know that the feelings are there but a relationship will probably never even be attempted… wasted feelings… so close, yet so far… and to know that i’ll probably never get any confirmation of this from him… that i could be imagining it, though i’m not the only one who sees it… no, sir.

i don’t think that anyone should have to wonder, and i think that if someone attached does wonder, it might be an indication that something in the relationship is awry. not that i’ve ever been in a serious relationship… those are just my thoughts, if they’re comprehensible.

i just wish there was something bold, but not destructive to him or his current relationship that i could do to… i don’t know… feel somewhat satisfied that i did all i could to make this one dream really happen.

what do you think? (i’m sorry that i’ve been asking so many questions lately)