December 21, 2010

remember yesterday when i praised the lack of a decimal point? well, screw that, because i like this number better!


it’s only .2 away from 101, but what a difference it makes! i mean, i now have hope that maybe, possibly, i can get back into the double digits by christmas!

what a gift that would be…

i guess i’m doing something right. i started a new exel spreadsheet to keep track of my daily calorie-intake, etc. and this one also keeps track of my weight… meaning that i have to weight myself every single day. i think that is definitely helping me get back on track!

in fact, a study done at my university found that students who weighed themselves everyday were much, much, much (can you tell that i don’t remember the percentage? 😉 ) more likely to NOT gain the freshman 15.

well, my personal findings support that supposition.

^^^ gorgeous calves!

anyhow, how are all of you? i was gone for so long this fall that i’m trying to catch up on all of my blogs and it’s taking a while. 🙂


December 20, 2010

while not perfect– or, really, ideal— it’s not 102.8!


seriously, i was stuck on that darn number for… a week? 10 days? (something ridiculous)

and now i’ve finally made it off that number and onto a different, lower number. (and one without any of those decimal points, which i like. 101.0. so chic, so sleek.)


also… my finals are over! HUZZAH! and i’m home 🙂 which is nice because i love my family… and i have easy access to an exercise bike AND an elliptical in our wonderful basement ❤ for when i eat too much. it’s my way of purging, so i suppose i’m running down that path towards “exercise bulimia” or “exercise anorexia”… but isn’t it healthier to get rid of calories by exercising then by vomiting?

anyway… celebratory thinspo:

a demain

hey, everybody!

June 13, 2010

i just did an hour of yoga!

…ok, actually just 40 minutes, but that’s pretty good, right? i exercise at gym at school about every other day (elliptical or treadmill) and occasionally use my crap elliptical at home when i freak about about eating too much (i guess a part of me is exercise-bulimic…?) or dance when my ipod just happens to be on and playing a good song and i’m alone, but i’ve never had much of a consistent, at-home routine.

maybe it’s time to start one. maybe i’m not young enough anymore that i can get away with simply dieting to lose weight and look fabulous. (i AM of voting age now, after all…)

i found my yoga video on my netflix instant play thing and there’s dancing and pilates too, so maybe once school’s out i should do a video every other day, and for now, do one a week…

i think that’s a good plan, right?

in further news, when i get to where i want to be body-wise, i want to try acting or modeling. my dream is to take a train across the country to los angeles and stay for a few weeks to a month and just audition like crazy! i could stay in some motel or rent a crap apartment… and i don’t know who i’d go with. could i go alone? it’s kind of going against the whole buddy-system rule…

i guess my plan still needs some ironing out, but it sounds promising, right? i wish i could go this summer, but i’m going to have a lot to do to get ready for college, so i’m setting my sights on next summer.

maybe this summer, i can just start in new york. which would make sense. why go across the country when i can audition locally? i mean, i guess i view los angeles as having more opportunities, but then again i’ve never been there…

so new york. this summer. PRACTICE.

and in order to get anywhere, especially since i haven’t acted since middle school and wasn’t particularly good, i’m going to need to look awesome. have that whole star-quality thing down. good body. good hair. good clothes. good skin. (any tips for good skin, btw? it’s usually OK, but around THAT TIME… not great 😦 )

what do you think? this is crazy, right? but maybe it would be fun, and i’d know i tried when i was young…

anyway, how about some pictures?

^^^i want these thighs

^^^ sometimes i wish i were model-tall… or even just tall… or of a normal height

^^^i’m OBSESSED with nautical stripes. esp in navy.

^^^the way she walks, she looks like a much-skinnier version of me. all i need are those lovely arms and calves… but i feel like my calves are so bulky/ stumpy, and not long and lean. anyone know what i can do about that?

alright, everyone. happy sunday! and don’t forget to dream big 🙂

sorry it’s been so long! i had the longest cold of my life and then i got stomach flu… it was just a disaster. AND it was during my holiday from school. fantastic, huh? 😉

anyhow, hi!!! i’ve missed wordpress.

ok. sooo, sick or not, sunday is my weighing day, and the past sunday was no exception. wanna know what the scale said?

well… at first i hopped on and it’s one of those digital ones so numbers were flashing all over the place but the highest that flashed was 101 and then it settled on 97.4 which i realized was too low and then i realized my foot was totally off the little metal thing that it needs to be on.

so then i tried again (with both feet in the correct position) and got 99.6

double digits!

granted, it was a couple of days after my stomach’s rebellion that kept me eating relatively lightly, but not TOO much lower than usual. 700s, 900s and i worked my way up.

so there has to be some validity to it, right?

ah, the magic of wishful thinking. sometimes i really am wonderful at deceiving myself. (my, um, (i guess you can call it a) love life can attest to that)

up down

February 9, 2010

i have to write a MASSIVE essay and i promised myself i wouldn’t post until i was done, but i have a teensy question that i’ve been meaning to ask for a few days:

has anyone here tried the UpDayDownDay diet?


i got this link from another blogger who was talking about it (if it was you, let me know! i honestly don’t remember…) and i, of course, checked it out. i entered my info and voila! tempting results:

on an up day i could eat 1800 cal and on a down day i’d only have to stick to 630.

tempting indeed…

i’m not thinking about doing it now or anytime soon, but it’s nice to have a backup plan because i really don’t want to fall off the wagon again.


January 31, 2010

i’m 103. exactly.


when i was visiting relatives over the holidays, i was 103.3 and i though for sure i’d gained since then.

i guess not.

4 more pounds til i’m in the 90s once more. excuse my language, but shit that’s exciting! i remember hopping on that scale two years ago and being 96 and going to a party and looking so freaking good! i actually LIKED those picture when i saw them on facebook. (unlike my junior prom ones… *shudders*)

i hope you all are having similar victories! 🙂

fat day

January 29, 2010

i swear that i’m fatter today. i think it’s because i stopped taking these meds that have weight loss as a side-effect, so i went back on. i’m better with them anyway, as long as it’s only a small dose.

so now i’m waiting and hoping that i’ll stop ballooning and start shrinking, because i was definitely beginning to look 100 lbs. grrr.

not a bad start

January 23, 2010

ok, so i NEED to start losing again! this is just unacceptable. but i think i got a good start this morning. a friend came around this morning and we went for a walk. good conversation AND jump-starting my metabolism for the day??? good stuff! (-100 calories)

and then i had some breakie (275 cal) and then did some cleaning (-100 cal) and then had some lunch (200 cal).

s0 now i’m at 275, which isn’t too bad since i just have dinner to go, but i’m going to the dreaded buffet!!! why did i agree to this? can anyone explain this to me? i can be so self-destructive sometimes…

but at least i have room in my calories that i can slip up and have up to 800 and i’ll be ok…

ugh, i HAVE to do this! i think i’ll go clean some more to try to burn some extra calories…

don’t let today’s weakness ruin tomorrow’s dream, girls! 😉

i have a really light homework day today (YAY!!!) so i thought i’d post.

i hope you’re all well! i have my big p… which is lighter than usual. is it just my imagination or could it be from losing weight? not that i’ve lost much… 😦

fun fact: it was snowing today. in october. and i don’t even live THAT far north… i’m not quite in new england. 😉

erm… i feel like i have so much i wanted to say but i can’t remember…

ok. randomness: i LOVE how men’s fingers and hands are so large compared to mine (i’m petite). it makes them seem so strong… like one of them could lift me up, put me in his backpack, and take me on a hike.

well, enough of that. thinspo:






^^^i LOVE these thighs

anyway, i remembered: i wanted to tell you that i’ve stayed around 1000 the past 2 days and i plan on doing the same today. i have to get back on track!!!

i had a dream

September 10, 2009

… last night. i was going to a school function (some senior class/ graduation thing) and i saw this really nice teacher i had sophmore year (she still says hi to me, etc. even though i wasn’t interested in her subject). i told her that i wanted to leave because only people who i really dislike were there and we started talking and she was like, “wait… did you lose weight? you’re so skinny!” and the teacher next to he was like, “yeah. you are!” and something about my arms. it was flattering, but also slightly accusatory so i just said, “i’ve been running a lot” which wasn’t/ isn’t true.

i woke up feeling happy 🙂

any dream interpreters out there care to take a gander at what this means?