big thinspo post

February 26, 2010

because i was away for a while…

so i’m still a vegan, and i’m finding it much easier to meet my goals this way since it cuts out so many temptations. and it’s not like i want to eat these things because i feel bad. AND, sans my cold that appears to not want to leave, my body feels really good… better than it has in a long time.

i’m still nervous for my weigh-in on sunday, though. what if i’m back in the triple-digits? i know that i said that the 99 was probably a fluke, but i REALLY want to believe that it wasn’t.

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Favorite Diet Food: little oranges, all berries except strawberries, sweet potatoes

Favorite Binge Food: cake, cookies (sweet things)

Favorite Exercise: dancing, walking around the mall, running (sometimes)

Thinspo: petite girls and actresses (audrey tautou ESPECIALLY!!!)

When Did It Start? 15 (though there were hints at 14)

Does Anyone Know?  nope


Do You Want Help? nope

What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror? THIGHS THIGHS THIGHS


Are You In A Relationship? no (sigh)

Are You The Fat Or Thin One Out Of Your Friends? on the thin side but not the thinnest (yet…;) )

I AM –
[] anorexic
[x] ednos
[] bulimic
[] living off diet pills
[] hungry
[] thirsty
[] drinking something
[] Under 100lbs
[] starving yourself
[] participating in a fast

PEOPLE –
[] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[] call me fat
[x] say I’m skinny
[] say I’m ugly
[] say I’m pretty
[ ] spread rumors about me
[ ] force me to eat
[] say I eat too much
[x] wish I’d eat more
[x] don’t know I’m anorexic/bulimic (even I dont know..)

I WISH –
[x] I was THIN
[x] I had a better body
[] I didn’t have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[] I was under 110lbs
[] I could avoid food
[x] I was pretty
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia

I LOVE –
[] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference when fasting
[x] shaking
[] being weak
[x] losing weight
[] being anorexic/bulimic
[] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself


  • APPEARANCE
    [ ] I am 5’5.
    [x] I think I’m ugly sometimes.
    [] I have many scars.
    [] I tan easily.
    [] I wish my hair was a different color.
    [] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
    [ ] I have a tattoo.
    [x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
    [x] I have/had braces.
    [ ] I wear glasses.
    [x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free
    [] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
    [ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
    [] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
    [] I have freckles.

    FAMILY
    [] I’ve sworn at my parents.
    [ ] I’ve run away from home.
    [ ] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
    [] My biological parents are together.
    [ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
    [x] I want to have kids someday.
    [ ] I’ve had children.
    [ ] I’ve lost a child.

    EMBARASSMENT
    [] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
    [] Disney movies still make me cry.
    [x] I’ve peed from laughing.
    [x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
    [x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.

    RELATIONSHIPS
    [x] I’m single
    [ ] I’m in a relationship.
    [ ] I’m engaged.
    [ ] I’m married.
    [ ] I’ve gone on a blind date.
    [ ] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
    [x] I miss someone right now.
    [x] I have a fear of abandonment.
    [] I’ve cheated in a relationship.
    [ ] I’ve gotten divorced
    [ x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back. <–story of my life!
    [ ] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
    [] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.

    SEXUALITY
    [ ] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
    [x ] I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
    [] I am a cuddler.
    [ ] I’ve been kissed in the rain.

    HONESTY
    [x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t
    [x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
    [ ] I’ve snuck out of my house.
    [ ] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
    [x] I am keeping a secret from the world
    [x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
    [x] I’ve cheated on a test.
    [ ] I’ve been suspended from school.

    BAD TIMES
    [ x] I’ve consumed alcohol.
    [ ] I regularly drink.
    [ x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
    [x] I shut others out when I’m upset.
    [ x] I’m anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS.
    [x ] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
    [] I’m addicted to self harm.
    [] I’ve woken up crying

  • so i’ve had a crap week. but i saw on imaginenamaste’s blog, a list of things that she was proud of about herself, regarless of crappy things that are happening. so here is my own– a list of good things about the bad things and about me:

    1. i will have more time now (for homework, friends, family, my appearance, etc.)
    2. i won’t be as tired/ stressed (goes along with ^)
    3. i don’t have to eat as much (aka i can go back on my 1000 cal diet. yay!)
    4. i get to see who my real friends are
    5. i have a small gap between my thighs (haha, random)
    6. i still have my brain (which helps me write poetry and will hopefully help me get into an ivy league college)
    7. i’m somewhat pretty (when i don’t smile)
    8. i can spend more quality time with my hobbies (fashion, bracelet-making, knitting,…)
    9. i’ll be home more, so maybe we can finally get another dog (?)
    10. i love my petiteness; love wearing children’s clothes, bracelets, etc.

    you know, that made me feel good. 🙂

    i’m anxiously awaiting for her new movie, coco avant chanel, to come out in the us, so i’ve decided to post some pictures of the wonderful actress as a tribute to her. i think that some of the pictures may be from the new film:

    audrey-tautou10020601
    i LOOOVE this picture! it might just be my favorite of her…

    0,,6593084,00
    in hors de prix

    Coco-Chanel-Audrey-Tautou-012
    from coco (yay!)

    18code_1_600
    da vinci code

    Priceless_Poster_ol.indd

    she’s so gorgeous! i wish i looked like her…

    anyway, i have a lot more pictures, but apparently the file type isn’t compatible with wordpress (?) so i’ll have to try to work something out.