you know that guy i’ve been talking about? well, i don’t know if i told you that we’re emailing, but we are.

kind of.

you see, i emailed him back an email and he has not replied in 3 weeks. and do you know what that does to a girl like me?

flips her out!

i mean, he’s probably just busy… but then that begs the obvious retort, too busy for me? the girl you said you’d miss? yeah right.

guys lie. they’re liars!

but what if that’s not it. (this is the scary part) what if he suddenly realized that omg i’ve been in love with him for 2 years? and now he’s avoiding me because he feels awkward because he doesn’t feel the same way…

or because he’s not supposed to.

i just wish he’d write back. to clear my head… and because i miss him. a lot. he’s in my dreams pretty much every night… :-/

this all makes me feel like such a stalker-freak. so… enough. thinspo time:

ps. wordpress is SOOO much better than blogspot. uploading pictures is a fiasco and reading other people’s blogs is so irritating that i’ve pretty much stopped doing it.

also, none of you are there. so yeah. wordpress is king!!!

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“because it’s funny”

January 25, 2010

so i don’t know how the heck i managed this– i guess it must have been saturday’s getting-back-on-track high– but i got my mother to buy me the book skinny bitch. in the actual bookstore. sure, i could have just ordered it online when i got home but we were in the bookstore and it was on one of the special release shelves and i was pumped up from eating some really tasty chinese food at dinner… and i just kind of picked it up and started walking with it.

and then we were looking at all the books we’d accumulated and she said why would you want that? all suspiciously– because in her mind i’m just so skinny that if i lose another ounce i’ll die. (uh huh. right) and so i said, because it’s funny. and it IS. but that’s not why i want it…

and then i also got this anorexia/ bulimia diary on the sale shelf (excellent! i LOVE a good sale) i just said, wow! this should be interesting. but that one i kind of DID hide in our pile of books… ๐Ÿ˜‰

i don’t know. that was quite the feat for me!!!

that’s a quote from Coco Avant Chanel (well… maybe not 100% accurate, but you get the gist), which i had the pleasure of seeing.

seriously, if you like fashion and/ or audrey tautou, SEE IT!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

anyway, the reason why i titled this post with that quote is that i just got my hair cut. ALOT. i’m talking nine inches of thick auburn (i wonder how many pounds i lost… ;)). what used to hit my lower back doesn’t even reach my breasts and it feels REALLY weird.

but i think i like it. ๐Ÿ™‚

anyway… since we’re on the subject of Coco Chanel, how about some stills from the movie?

a051108035715_audrey-tautou-chanel

Coco-Chanel-Audrey-Tautou-012

coco 19069649_w434_h_q80

^^^ my favorite picture

coco audrey-tautou-coco-avant-chanel

coco_avant_chanel_alessandronivola_audreytautou

coco_avant_chanel_audreytautou2-

coco_avant_chanel_picnew5

coco_avant_chanel_replacement_01

coco-tailleur

^^^ another favorite

apparently, audrey’s next film comes out next year. *sigh* so long to wait….

is this true?

September 5, 2009

i read online that these colors represent these things (for lack of a better word):

Red: Anoerexia
Purple: Bulimia
Green: fasting at that time
Black: Si (self injury)
Blue: depression
Pink: ednos (eating disorder not yet specified)
Orange: SIer (self injuryier)
Orange and White: recovered SIer
Turqoise-Overweight/Obese
Ana Recovery-Red and Black
Mia Recovery-purple and black
cutter recovery-blue and black
ednos recovery-black/green/blue
orange or black = self harm
yellow = suicidal
blue or green = depression
green = manic/bipolar depression
teal = anxiety disorder + ocd + panic disorder

i mean, i knew the basics (though i was under the impression that bulimia is blue), but the rest of these symbolic colors are completely foreign to me. has anyone else heard of this?

a051108035715_audrey-tautou-chanel

atautou_7

aud1
did i post this already? probably

aud3

aud0023ae606f170b46407105
she has the BEST legs

aud00014859
awww! ๐Ÿ™‚

audhappenstance

audrey tautou just makes me happy. ๐Ÿ™‚

partย  3 to come

today i’m a human again

August 26, 2009

… at least, i’ve gone back to eating like one. all that running and calorie burning required me to eat WAAAY more than i’m comfortable with. it actually made me feel sick.

i miss running though– not sprinting, but slow-paced, long distance running. like what i was doing to prepare.

but now i’d feel like a doofus doing it, as i have nothing to prepare for.

i kind of want to join cross country, but i have no friends doing it, and i’m not sure i’ll have time over the year.

i just missing being on a team. supporting my school. being a part of something.

and now i’m alone. again. and i realized today that i only haveย 3 real friends, and only 1 goes to my school.

maybe i’ll do winter track once my applications are in. i don’t know.

i can’t believe none of my “friends” still haven’t called. i really can’t.

ugh. i feel depressed right now. i hope it gets better when school starts. :-/

i haven’t gotten one call, one text… NOTHING.

why do i even bother with these people. do they care at all?

it’s not possible that they don’t know. i walked out and left. i cried in my car (well, maybe they didn’t see THAT part)….

i just don’t get it. it’s common courtesy, that’s all.

by the way, i think i’m going to return to pro ana. i need something right now.

thinspiration 8/19

August 19, 2009

473

i love this dress

42-20007175

is that emma watson???

475

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ah! i need these calves!!!

477

random thought for today: i wish that what i wore everyday was interesting enough for me to blog about it. ESPECIALLY in the summer. i have so much time that i could be crafting perfect outfits but i’m too lazy; i put on a t-shirt and shorts everyday. and usually, it’s the same pair of shorts. they’re from jcrew and they’re my favorite. ๐Ÿ™‚

any vegetarians out there?

August 17, 2009

i know i’m one! ๐Ÿ™‚

for moral reasons– not so much health reasons, ironically.

if you aren’t one, i don’t judge (i’m not like that ๐Ÿ˜‰ย  ) but if you are, i found a very useful website, happycow.net

there’s forums, chats, restaurant reviews,… it’s vegetarian/ pescatarian/ frutarian/ everything else like that haven.

in other news…

i ran today. and it was HOT. there was literally a heat warning, so i had to wait until the sun went down a bit, but it was still over 100.

and there were these weird kids on skateboards who don’t even live in my town following me. :-/

and i saw my kind-of-friend’s parents walking their dog and had to say hi and how are you? and all that jazz WHILE i was still running.

but i did it, and i finished in full sprint. ๐Ÿ™‚

and you know what? i did that whole breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth thing, and i think it was good for my asthma.

ugh. i really hope i’m in shape enough to handle preseason/ tryouts…

yay!

check it out: http://prunfriendly.wordpress.com/