first off, i want to think you guys SOOO FREAKING MUCH for your support yesterday… well, today. i still feel disappointed and i don’t know how/ when i’ll get rid of that feeling, but i would have felt a lot worse had it not been for your incredible comments. you’re really the sweetest people.

so… in attempt to take my mind off things (aka HIM), i will post about something completely unrelated:

Lisa Mitchell

these last to pictures, as well as the first in this set, are from her Coin Laundry music video. if you’ve never heard her, this is definitely the video to check out! it’s so whimsical and fun… and she’s stunning, in my opinion. and incredibly talented! i watched the video of her singing this live… she has a different kind of singing voice than the norm but i envy it just the same!

my favorite song of hers has got to be Neopolitan Dreams, but i don’t think i’ve heard them all, as only a few of hers are available to download on itunes (i had to get Coin Laundry… elsewhere, if you get my drift 😉 ). 😦  i’m hoping the rest come soon!

anyway, i just think she’s awesome and her music always seems to put me at peace. she deserves to be famous, for, unlike so many others, she really is talented!

what do you think? i’ve never really done music commentary before…


well, then

June 5, 2010

ironically, i was so darn worried about how i’d look, but that wasn’t the problem at all. i mean, my arms and calves could have been thinner, but i actually felt pretty decent about myself. especially with my hair and makeup all done up…

my problem is that i thought someone would be thee and then he wasn’t.

and now i’m sitting, still wearing my dress because i don’t know what to do with it. and my hair and make-up are still on because i don’t want to wash this short time of beauty away like that.

i think i’m trying to convince myself that the night isn’t over. that i’m still at prom, and he might be coming.

i think i need to write. i mean, i get to write in my creative writing class but i can’t write about my food issues or undying love for one of my ex-teachers or i’d probably get sent to guidance.

and so i’m back! and i must say, i’ve missed this place. it keeps me writing and keeps me on track food-wise. i think when i went on hiatus i was getting down into the 90s. so let me catch you up:

i went down, down, down pretty painlessly… and that scared me. and then i was at 90… and that scared me. but at the same time, i was excited. but i started eating more so now i’m back at 100.

and now i wish i hadn’t been scared. i mean, 90? maybe not. but 95 would have been ok.

but i’ve been trying to lose again because prom is coming up. tomorrow. i hate prom. and i wish i had just stayed at 90… then i would feel sooo much better.

because now i’m really really scared. i HATED how i looked in the pictures last year. my arms and calves, especially. but i was heavier at this time last year, wasn’t i? i feel like i was. i hope i was…

i’m most worried about my arms. they’re all flabby up top. not up to my standards.

now, i think that’s enough complaining for one post.

i hope you all are well! i need to catch up on A LOT of blogs.


EDIT: i just realized i left you with a bit of a cliffhanger. well, i’m still off the birth control and i do think it’s making losing weight easier. and i’m probably less puffy but right now i’m too negative to see it.

^^^i LOVE this outfit! the pairing of the sweater and the dress makes it…

^^^how can someone so thin still have boobs? for me, there’s a trade-off.

woot woot! 4 pages

February 10, 2010

i still need 3 more, but i’m getting there!!!

in celebration, my promised thinspo:


January 31, 2010

i’m 103. exactly.


when i was visiting relatives over the holidays, i was 103.3 and i though for sure i’d gained since then.

i guess not.

4 more pounds til i’m in the 90s once more. excuse my language, but shit that’s exciting! i remember hopping on that scale two years ago and being 96 and going to a party and looking so freaking good! i actually LIKED those picture when i saw them on facebook. (unlike my junior prom ones… *shudders*)

i hope you all are having similar victories! 🙂


May 7, 2009

i think that the whole idea of prom is ridiculous– too decadent. i mean, paying who knows how much for one night that can’t possibly live up to your expectations? not my kind of thing. and yet, i find myself going. tomorrow.

frankly, i’m nervous. this is supposed to be one of my weight-loss checkpoints; if my legs look skinny in pictures, i’m doing well. but what if they don’t? what if my calves look huge and my arms look fat and i have all of that armpit flab or whatever it’s called (do you know what i mean?)? i feel physically sick just thinking about it… but not quite enough to go all mia.  :-/