thinspo 10/25/10

October 25, 2010

^^^ really creative title, eh? 😉

^ a tad halloween-themed 🙂

^ vera farmiga. LOVE her. i mean, up in the air? boy in the striped pajamas? terrific movies, in my opinion.

ok. tis all. 🙂

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… 200

REALLY! and i’m not even hungry. at all. i only ate lunch because i was with people… and then i only got a small soup.

how? why? coffee. coffee is magical.

i usually don’t drink coffee. at all. but today i decided to drink some, for i heard it can be good for weight loss and such… and i drank A LOT. a whole thermos full, with just a hint of soymilk in it.

and i’m relatively petite.

SO it had a pretty darn big effect on me! therefore, i will not drink quite THAT much again, but i think on thursday i’m going to have a bit. and then i’ll have a bit on tuesdays and thursdays.

that way, i’ll have 2 low cal days a week AND i hopefully won’t build up a tolerance to the stuff.

win-win, correct?

gah, i’m caffeine-high right now…

i have more that i want to tell you, but i think i’m going to wait until i’m less jittery 😉 . until then, thinspo?

i guess the blogging gods are on my side today!

aside: i LOVE the deschanels. just saying.

alrighty, then!

ps. i’m looking for feedback: do you like the pictures i’m posting of my food? are you getting anything out of it, or is it just a waste of space? feel free to be honest! (but kind 🙂 )

happy day, all!!!

thinspo study-break!

October 17, 2010

i’ve been finding so much thinspo online that wasn’t there a couple of months ago! so exciting.

🙂

weird day

June 16, 2010

today was a day i’m going to need time to reflect on in order to accept that it happened. it was just one of those days that was odd– like when you’re sitting in a room and thinking to yourself, i can’t really be here can i? surely, i’m not actually doing this, but you’re there and you are. and you can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

do you know what i’m talking about? i’m not the best at explanations…

pictures:

^^^ does anyone know who this is and/ or what this is an ad for?

as promised

^^^ if only…

^^^ i LOVE gemma!!! she’s so beautiful

can i talk about something a little off topic? right now i’m experiencing semi-requited love. he’s with someone and he’s very committed (ie committed to be engaged) but i know that he has feelings for me and has probably thought a couple of if… then… statements regarding me. and i wish he would admit this, though i understand he can’t, but it’s painful. it’s painful to know that the feelings are there but a relationship will probably never even be attempted… wasted feelings… so close, yet so far… and to know that i’ll probably never get any confirmation of this from him… that i could be imagining it, though i’m not the only one who sees it… no, sir.

i don’t think that anyone should have to wonder, and i think that if someone attached does wonder, it might be an indication that something in the relationship is awry. not that i’ve ever been in a serious relationship… those are just my thoughts, if they’re comprehensible.

i just wish there was something bold, but not destructive to him or his current relationship that i could do to… i don’t know… feel somewhat satisfied that i did all i could to make this one dream really happen.

what do you think? (i’m sorry that i’ve been asking so many questions lately)

do you ever look around your school/ workplace/ neighborhood and notice all of these people who look better than you? i know i do. and thanks to facebook, i get to notice them A LOT because these people just love posting pictures of themselves.

which is vain, i suppose, though i wonder if i’d do the same if i looked like they did.

the bikini pictures get me the most. i mean, these are real people the i know… not people whose pictures i found by typing “thinspo” into Google images… and they look so much better than me that it’s crazy.

because i know i don’t look bad. i know that. i’m not anywhere close to being overweight.

maybe that’s it. i know that i’m close, so i keep asking myself why i can’t just go a little further and be proud of how i look in pictures and real life.

especially pictures… i think there’s something wrong with my mirror, because i’ll look at myself and think good things, and then i’ll see pictures of myself from that same day later and thing whaaat? what happened?

do you know what i mean? it’s like some cruel optical illusion. 😦

so here are the promised pictures:

^^^ i want arms like these

^^^ i love this dress! anyone know where i can get one like it?

^^^ i LOVE her. so pretty.

^^^ can these please be my legs?

huh. her face kind of looks like mine. her hair kind of looks like mine too. but her body? ha!

anyhow, yesterday i was kind of trying to hint to my friend that i have an ED because i was bored and because i hoped she would be supportive.

i said, “when i was a sophmore i didn’t eat for three weeks.”

and then she started going off about how she knows because one time she fit into a small.

i kept my cool, but really??? i was trying to talk to her about something serious and she just made light of it.

needless to say, when i try again to talk to someone about this, it WON’T be her.

i’m sorry for this long post, but i just have a quick Q: how can one gain ten pounds in a week while eating the same amount she’s been eating? because last week, my weight went from 92 to 100.

ok, so that’s 8 pounds, but how is that possible? can bloating alone cause it?

and why, this week, am i 102???

i’m kind of flipped out here, because i really changed NOTHING and i was doing so, so well… 😦

at least yesterday was good. i was so busy with my friends after school that i only ended up eating 600 calories, which is low for my taste, but it’s better than high.

maybe socializing is the key to weight loss. maybe that’s why all those “popular” girls from my school are so skinny…

pictuuures

June 8, 2010

crisis averted. drank a little beer to settle my stomach and then went to bed.

so, i’m getting a new computer, so i’m gonna start posting mass amounts of pictures so that i don’t have transfer them. i hope that’s ok.

^^^ i love skins 🙂

^^^ this is the beach body i’d like

^^^ cute sweater (i love sweaters)

have any of you ever been in love with someone with a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ significant other, maybe even a fiance or spouse, or just someone you couldn’t have for whatever reason? because i need some serious advice on this subject and i’m feeling very alone right now. 😦

ps. i got a twitter, but it’s my personal one so i’m afraid to post it here lest someone figures out this blog is mine. not that i’m ashamed of anything i’ve written here… it’s just very personal. anyway, if any of you have one, we should exchange.

rebel

March 23, 2010

i want to start a protest.. preferably something passive… or secretive. would that still count as a protest?

i’m tired of not doing anything.

any ideas?

i love these quirky outfits!

woo!

gosh i’m so tired. i’m sorry that these last two posts have sucked… i think i need to get back to my semi-happy place, if you know what i mean.

big thinspo post

February 26, 2010

because i was away for a while…

so i’m still a vegan, and i’m finding it much easier to meet my goals this way since it cuts out so many temptations. and it’s not like i want to eat these things because i feel bad. AND, sans my cold that appears to not want to leave, my body feels really good… better than it has in a long time.

i’m still nervous for my weigh-in on sunday, though. what if i’m back in the triple-digits? i know that i said that the 99 was probably a fluke, but i REALLY want to believe that it wasn’t.

WTF

February 14, 2010

i weighed myself this morning. and guess what i got? 104.8. 104.8!

how the heck did i gain two pounds?!?

i’m praying that it has to do with the massive amount of liquids i drank yesterday, my congestion, or the fact that my digestive system doesn’t seem to be working.

or all of those reasons combined.

grrr…

so, i don’t know if my experiment worked because i spent the day with my friends who LOVE to eat (but are so skinny!) and we got italian food and REALLY good chocolate.

even the calories i burned walking around the city and shopping couldn’t save me… 😦  but i’ve got to keep up appearances, right? or is that just an excuse?

anyway, i’m going to try again today. so far, i’ve only had 200 cal which isn’t a bad start.

^ this girl kind of reminds me of me. not the body or the hair, but the face and eyes. it’s weird, because i’m not a normal-looking person. my features are quirky, if that makes sense.

ps. happy valentine’s day! if you like it, have a great time! if you don’t, you’re not alone 😉