french final

December 11, 2010

first off, i want to thank Jolie for her sweet comment! it’s TRUE that there are many great teachers. i’ve been fortunate enough to be lucky in this regard.

to answer your question, i’m almost 19 and in college– an in college if you have a really great teacher, you have to give them up halfway through the year and start anew… usually. but this time, i wasn’t going to have to, i thought. and i was THRILLED… which just made the news that much harder for me to hear.

anyhow, i just got back from my final for that class. usually after tests and finals i’m mentally exhausted because i pour my brain onto the paper, but this time i’m emotionally exhausted. seeing my discussion group (who i’ve seen 4 days a week since august and gotten to know and trust) together for possibly the last time made me so nostalgic… and i’m prone to nostalgia anyway.

have you guys ever seen the show Community on NBC? with Joel Mchale, etc. ? we were like that… because foreign language classes in college are different from other classes; you really HAVE to meet every day or you wont develop the language skills.

it turned out to be such a blessing, though…

anyhow, i’m feeling really down, still. perhaps i will post later.


thinspo thinspo thinspo

September 24, 2009

i had a good day today. a good talk with my love. a great test grade. an okay quiz grade. an even more okay grade on a paper…

i think i deserve some thinspo!

in fact, i think we ALL deserve some thinspo for almost being done with the week! woo!


the knees ❤


the thighs ❤




that last pic is especially good for me, as i’m white as a ghost and used to use that as an excuse for why i looked so fat (ever notice that when your thighs are tanned they look thinner?).


last week or so i’ve been in the 1100s and the 1000s (mostly the 1000s) calorie-wise; i’m afraid i’m going to plateau soon… or maybe i already have. i felt fat today 😦

so maybe i’ll have a 1500 day soon to give my metabolism a little kick? i don’t feel comfortable going down; i already am finding it harder to concentrate at times and occasionally shake…

could be my imagination though. a placebo-effect, if you will.

tryouts: day 3

August 24, 2009

today, instead of conditioning, we had our annual track day (aka hell)… but i didn’t think it was too bad. maybe i’m getting in shape?

so after running countless 20s, 40s, 60s, 80s, 100s, etc., we did some drills and i was fun! i got to practice my hits (especially my drive and slapshot) for the froshies to deflect into the goal. except, they didn’t have much luck. but they’re young; they’ll learn.

but during that drill, coach was standing off to the side for a while and watching us, so i think he saw how strong my hits have gotten (!!!). let’s hope…

and then i had my stopping test with this really intense ball machine that goes 50 mph and makes the ball hop. seriously, IMPOSSIBLE. one of my sophmores got 0 stops, and a junior who’s really intense at defense got 4. (and this is out of 10) i got 3. but when i had my practice turn, i did SO MUCH BETTER. no joke. i stopped 6, i think. i wish that one had counted…

then we did a little scrimmage and i felt like my defensive positioning came back, but i’m not quite there skillwise yet. at one point, our goalie said “watch out!” or something like that, but i didn’t know what she meant. it’s difficult with goalies, i think, because you have to find the balance between not giving them enought support and getting in their way. and communication is something that’s difficult for me, so it doesn’t always work out so well… :-/

THEN… (we had no ending conditioning…yay!) coach sat us down and talked to us. he said that he was really proud of all the effort that we’ve been putting forth, etc. but that he was still going to have to make some cuts. grrr… i’d thought (wished) that he’s forgotten about that.

so yeah… i’m nervous again.

i went to the team roster (excluding goalies) that i’ve made for myself and found 3 people other than me who i think might get cut. 2 are sophmores (one of them i REALLY REALLY like 😦 ) who just aren’t in good enough physical shape and/or have weak skills. one of them seems to have a bad attitude, too. i’m always friendly to her, but to no avail.

the other is a junior. she’s a real story, let me tell you. last year, she came 3(?) days late to tryouts and the coaches pretty much told her to go away. i thought that was the last of her. but this year she comes out the first day but… her forms aren’t in. so she sits out the first 2 days.

yep. today was the first day she played, and with really no excuse. i mean, what is that? we’ve been working our butts off for 2 more days than her. honestly, i was suprised that the coaches didn’t make her leave this time, but i guess it’s because she DID show up on time. so i’m thinking they’re going to cut her, because coach kind of implied a while back that if you sit out during tryouts, the coaches don’t get to see you play as much… *wink wink*

and then there’s a junior who MIGHT get cut. i kind of doubt it, because she has good hits, but she’s gotten slower this year, and i never really thought she was a good player to begin with– too passive. (like me. yes, i’m a hypocrite.)

so yeah… we have a team dinner tonight; i’m still debating whether or not i should go. it;s at this pub = fatty food. 😦 and a lot of people to notice my new eating habits. 😦

BUT the head coach might be there, so maybe it would be good for me to make an appearence, even though they’re pretty much deciding the teams right now. ahhh!

coach did say that people with skill are gonna have to go. i guess i’ll have to wait until tomorrow to figure out what, exactly, that means…